I wrote this when i couldn't come online.
23:11
This is the last hour of 2005. Another chapter of my life will soon closes, leaving behind the good and the bad times. 2005 has been an eventful year. First semester, being the most senior batch, others expect more from you. Moreover, as a prefect and a council member, having to juggle also with the post as the president of choir has not been easy. With SYF and all, there were countless times that i just could not take it and broke down. And not forgetting the stress. But thinking back now, those difficulties that i faced moulded me into a better person and the values that i've learnt are priceless.

Looking at second semester now, no doubt it was the most grueling period. We had to mug real hard for prelims and Os. Retired from prefectorial board, choir and council, but still, am emotionally attached to them.

2005. Not forgetting the people i've met throughout my eight years in SAC. Most importantly, the people that i've met in my secondary school life. they played a big part in my life. My encouragers, and my friends and all. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to know you all. you guys had made a difference in my life. You all made me realised how much i mean to all of you. thanks for being there for me, for lending me that shoulder that I needed. without you all, I probably have gone crazy and stuck in my own thoughts.

Here's a message to all of you:
vann: Thanks for all these while darling(=. For being there to encourage me always. I'm really glad that our friendship grew stronger even though we were in different classes in sec 3. there are just too many things to say. i love you (=

weiqin: remember our hottest topic ever? that _ _ _ _ ? Thanks for listening to my crap and showing me your affection openly!(= You shall be 'C' okay?(= And really, thanks for tonight weiwei. i love you(=

siewcheng: 'B'! (= parn-da. But not the little one anymore(= i love you. There are so many things that I want to say. thanks for everything. I'll never forget those wonderful times, and thanks for tonight as well!(=

charmane: cow! I haven't seen you for a long long time. How have you been? even thoughwe are not very close, i am still grateful to have met you(=

diyanah: LION!(= I'll never forget how fierced you were. heh.I'll never forget how we dreaded to go for council meetings too. And those fun times together!

linette: pigpig!(= thanks for being there for me. i'm really really glad to have met you!(= i love you

Last but not least.. the six:
hey guys!really really thanks for everything. It's the end of the year and we all have to part, but it's just part of our lives. We'll still meet someday. I will always remember those silly jokes that we laughed at. How we always sat on the floor during recess at the back of the canteen. How sometimes, our usual seat on the floor was taken by others. there were times that we almost sat under the sun to eat. How slow wei was and her don't waste time.(= how contagious nette's laughter was. How char mug for mid-years. how noisy cheng was. how mad didi went. How we get into our group of six during group work and our geog song!((= Really really thanks for playing a part in my secondary school life. i love you guys. (:

just something to add.
I was on the phone with adlin at 1 am plus.yar. Our late night talks(= We talked about lots of stuff. And the term "letting go". she made me realise how much i mean to her, i had tears in my eyes when she actually told me that. And that sweet girl, she say she'll call the special-est of the special people when she reached melbourne on the 10th feb(= and she came up with around 10 names.haha. Had a talk about prefects and we were talking about those night duties. how dead and tired we were after night duties. and when we were sec 3, the council made the temporary new council in charge of the sec 2 parents' night. We were running around the whole night to make sure everything ran well. we did refreshments. We wanted to split the work, i was suppose to do the 1st and 2nd floor, and she was suppose to do the 3rd and 4th floor. But somehow, in the end, we did everything together.
oh well.
those memories.

i actually wrote this down when i couldn't come online last night, but you can ignore it, it's quite redundant.

30 dec 05 23:35
I was okay. But the moment before I knew it, i went into a sudden depression. yes, just suddenly. I even thought of going to sleep and not wake up again. I know it's a silly thought. Am I depriving myself from it? I don't know but i don't want to influence anybody.

Anyway, i'm alright now(= thanks nic, sc n adlin.

Alrights, happy new year's eve!(=

adlin looks so much more feminine now(= darling i think you should continue to dress like this!!(= you look nicer(= reebok top, jacket, jeans, sport shoes, a nice bag and dangling earrings!(= you finally found your feminine side girl. haha. I hope she doesn't kill me if she reads this. And she did this ultra random thing when she got off bus 100. haha. she went "ta-da!" plus some actions-_-. lol. whee. see, i told you im gonna blog this. heys adlin, thanks for today yar?For popping by shops with me to see if i can get a part-time job.(= love you girl.-muacks

I hope gramophone accepts me.(=

I had delicious delifrance for lunch!yay!(= siew cheng didn't get it!yay. bleah.=p evil me.

Oh! do you know who is chris? I would love to know. barhh. i shall drop that now.

-toodles.
p.s. im fetching parn-da from work tmr!yay(= im a nice person. lalala.see you guys tmr(=

kbox today(= And I saw jocelyn wu working at kbox. Other than that, I saw a few others too. Sue-ann, melissa, michelle and genie, and siying. But most importantly, i saw siew cheng!parn-da, i miss you lots lots. I was so happy to see you(=. thanks for promoting SB's chicken pie, it's really yummy! I can't wait for the next time to see you. 31st yar? (=

I'll be having a haircut tomorrow. heh. I still don't know if i'm going out with room tomorrow. I miss room a lot. It has been a long time since the four of us went out. guohui and i were saying that if both vann and matt can't make it, then it'll be RO outing. hah.(= anyway.

I finally had my nails cut. So after dinner at simei, i went back home to practise piano. I played 2 movements of Ravel, it was quite alright. I tried the 3rd movement. it's the most difficult one. oh my. All the notes everywhere!!=| I attempted one page and then switched to play Chopin's Etudes. No problem with right hand except those 6 bars which I played for over ten times and caused my hand to ache. Accidentals everywhere. I was frustrated as usual, but I pushed myself. After playing for more than ten times and when I finally got it for the 1st time, i was like YAY. My mum asked me what's wrong. haha. I was just expressing my joy.(= therefore I continued playing many times more. 45 minutes of practise.

If you have a bible, read proverbs 2:1-9.(= if not click here for the link.

we walk by faith, not by sight. -2 Cor 5:7

that's something I came across today. We entrust our faith to God.(= Trust in God in whatever you do, moreover, nothing is impossible with God(=

I finally get to see parn-da tomorrow after not seeing her for 22 days. Finally(= parn-da, i miss you a whole lot. yay.

alrights. that's all.i dont feel like updating anymore.heh.
-toodles(=

I got this from a web. This is something to think about.

Love needs expression:

Somehow the command to love doesn't get through to us. We may confess that we lack a strong faith, but seldom do we admit that we are deficient in love. Perhaps we feel we're as loving as the next person, and maybe a little bit more.

After all, we're sensitive to the hurts of other people. Our hearts go out to battered wives and abused children when we read about them in the newspaper. We shift uneasily in front of our TVs when we see little children sobbing with hunger or sitting in silent despair beyond crying.

But deep inside we know that genuine caring reaches beyond feelings to action. Caring, like steam or electricity, isn't worth much unless something happens as a result of it. Love without deeds is useless, just as talent not demonstrated in creative ways is wasted. Both must be expressed or they are no better than a myth.

Because we can't do everything, we often don't do anything. If you want to be a loving person, don't start by taking on the needs of the whole world. Start with caring about one person and build from there.

i wrote this on the 11th dec when i was just thinking about some stuff.
"you're a big girl now"(quoted from uncle simon). Indeed i am. i'm v fortunate to get to know God even though i come from a non-Christian fammily. And I am extrremely grateful for this. With encouragement from my brothers and sisters, i grow spiritually day by day. Under the guidance of God, I began to overcome new things. Moreover, with God, nothing is impossible! Christmas is exactly in two weeks! I am very excited! It's because i'll be going to Christmasland(= And I really hope, not just hope, i want to attend regular service in church. Despite hearing rejections, I managed to ask mum about it. What shocked me was, i asked without any hesitation!(= Whatever it is, I just want to thank God for being there for me, holding my hand and walking this journey with me. Without You, I will not be here. Therefore I say, thank you(=

A late Merry Christmas to one and all(=. I enjoyed myself on the 24th. Having saved for a year and 2 days now, has changed me. It's really amazing of what God can do in one person's life. I'm glad that matthew came(=. I haven't seen him for quite a long time. The whole service was great(=. When we sang O Holy Night, I had tears in my eyes. The presence of God was so strong in the hall. I shook hands with people around me and wished them Merry Christmas when we sang Feliz Navidad(=

I saw xuelin!(= I miss xue. I haven't seen her since umm..a long time. She still messes my hair and touch my face to say that my skin is still as smooth as last time-.- .We actually stood there and talked for more than 5 minutes.heh.(:

Three cheers for vj choir(= I enjoyed your last session of caroling today. Daniel was caroling as well. heh. anyway. it was really enjoyable(=

I'm glad that i cleared those thoughts. Actually, i felt that you have the right to know. So i'm happy that i'm not hiding it from you anymore. I might have hurt you from what i said, i'm sorry. Whatever it is, thanks for being a great friend. I never regret knowing you. Thanks for letting me know how you feel now, at least now i do know how you feel. And once again, congratulations for getting into nj. room outing this week okay?i miss room. a lot. till then, take good care. see you soon(=

a msg to parn-da: i miss touching your rubbery parts((=love you parn-da(=

hello.(= i'm using free internet access at some shopping centre again. Today's temperature is 10 to 14 deg. hmmm. i can't wait to be back!!Because it'll be Christmas then(= lalala.

Oh btw, siew cheng, adlin, did weiqin call you all? if not, call her yar?Ask her about fri night. alrights?
(=

king kong later with dad and bro.(= yay
December is coming to an end. this means that i need to think of what i'll do for my 1st 3 months.-scratches head. i have no idea.=/ oh well. congrats to those who got into toh tuck(=, but that means i can't go out with you all as often.barhh. nvm, weekends!!(=

alrights i gtg. take care all.I'm coming back tomorrow(=

hello.!I'm in hk now(= yay. hmmm. i won't be back until the 23rd yar?take care all(=
ten days.

this is the fourth day that i'm back and i'm off tomorrow to hong kong this time and only be back on 23rd dec. Just in time for christmas!(= I seriously can't wait for christmas. there's christmas service, there's vj carolling and 24th dec is the one year.(= i can't wait.

oh. thanks jil for the songs(= and thank me for the photos too!!haha.

why the hesitation still?it has almost been a year.

seven,7
quoted from my brother's blog.

7 things I plan to do before I die:
1. to serve Him
2. get married
3. have kids
4. to draw even nearer to Him
5. "love my neighbours" even more
6. get baptise
7. be more inquisite

7 things I can do:
1. Play piano
2. Play guitar
3. sing
4. lead a group
5. be a listener
6. counsel people
7. be nice to people around me

7 things I cannot do:
1. be mean and arrogant
2. drive
3. talk to a stranger
4. backstab another person
5. pretend to look happy when in fact i'm not
6. write reflection within 10 minutes
7. stay awake until 5am

7 things that attract me to the opposite sex:
1. hair
2. eyes
3. smile
4. friendly
5. funny
6. how they dress
7. how they present themselves

7 things that I say most often:
1. haha
2. umm..
3. alrights
4. okay
5. eh?
6. lalala
7. ahhh

7 celebrity crushes:
1. junyang
2. shawn yue
3. edision chen
4. nicholas tse
5. lin jun jie
6. nicky from westlife
7. shane from westlife

7 people I want them to do this "7" thingy:
1. siew cheng
2. nicholas
3. vanessa
4. adlin
5. linette
6. weiqin
7. nathaniel

yups.Last christmas last night was great. And vann is attracted to marcus.lol. rayner sang solo(= I saw daniel tong. Oh my goodness. I got a shock!! you mean he got in vj?he was on stage as well but i didn't see him. the girls were great too!(= vj choir is just so united right vann? Chicken Little tomorrow and lights at our REAL orchard road at night. yay. i can't wait!(=
-toodles

ummm.. photos for prague will be up soon okay?(=

I'm back from Prague(=. But i already misses it. The city is so beautiful.
oh. we clinched a GOLD.
yups a gold.

And I can't sleep!!oh!Last Christmas tomorrow(=. I'm looking forward to it. yuppie!
Alrighty.I've actually uploaded the photos into the computer but have yet to put it into the album, but i'll do it another day okay?

take care all.
I miss you guys.